


In Water.

by endlessgold



Category: Umineko no Naku Koro ni | When the Seagulls Cry
Genre: Drowning, Gender Dysphoria, Other, Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-29
Updated: 2020-07-29
Packaged: 2021-03-06 02:00:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,694
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25595425
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/endlessgold/pseuds/endlessgold
Summary: as she descended further into the abyss, she thought . . .
Relationships: Beatrice the Golden Witch/Ushiromiya Battler, Kanon/Ushiromiya Jessica, Shannon/Ushiromiya George, Ushiromiya Battler & Yasuda Sayo
Comments: 2
Kudos: 15





	In Water.

She had supposed that it should have been painful, the feeling of water burning in her lungs. But she didn't gasp or struggle against the water— which felt like thick jello crushing her bones as she sank further and further into the ocean.   
  
A golden ingot was tied to her ankle, ensuring her fate. To cast herself into the sea, weighted down by some rock... It really is the end fitting for the Golden Witch.   
  
If it weren't for the water, she would have cackled and sneered at how perfect it is.  
  
Or maybe she would clutch her chest and cry out because of how unfair it is.   
  
Or maybe she wouldn't feel anything at all. Her demise was inevitable ever since she planned the massacre, after all.   
  
As her— Beatrice’s— dress seemed to weigh her down just as much as the ingot did, she wondered...  
  
_Who am I?_  
  
Shannon— the first of them all.   
  
She was demure and gentle, the perfect woman for a refined young adult like George. She could live with him, in a house with two floors and a room right across from their children— George could kiss her when he went off to and came back from work— she could make him tea when he got sore from playing too much with their children.   
  
Their children... George could never stop talking about how he wanted to start a family.   
  
She hated him for that.   
  
No, she loved him— because he assured her that ‘Shannon' was everything a woman should be. Shannon was happy with him.  
  
Even though their class differences kept them apart, George offered her his hand and guided her along like none of that mattered. Like he was ready to have the entire Ushiromiya family– no– the entire world as his enemy for the sin of falling in love with a girl who is so far below him.   
  
He could love furniture. He taught Shannon that a humble house decoration could be happy with the person she loves.   
  
For that, she'll always love him.   
  
And for that, she writhed around in agony on her many sleepless nights.   
  
She regretted that she, furniture, fell for a man with such traditional wishes. The simple dream of having children.   
  
She may be able to fall in love, but there are still so many things that furniture can't do.   
  
Furniture can't have children, no matter how much she wishes she could.   
  
Her body is broken and ugly, completely unable to bear children. Even remembering what her pathetic form looks like makes her feel sick.   
  
If George knew that she was a pretender– furniture play acting as a woman who can have his child– he would certainly hate her.   
  
So, the time has come for Shannon to disappear from this world.   
  
This form no longer holds her spirit.   
  
But if that's true...  
  
_Who am I?_  
  
Kanon— the boy born from confusion.   
  
She was his perfect model of what a boy should be. Cold, aloof, and dismissive. No matter how many times he was approached by friendly faces, he would reject them and carry on in a world of solitude.   
  
He was the embodiment of the dark truths she held in the back of her mind— the fact that she was furniture. The fact that she could not fall in love, because her body was mangled and repulsive.   
  
Every time the words ‘I am furniture’ spilled from his mouth, she remembered that truth.   
  
Shannon could play around on the beach with George, but Kanon would always keep her anchored in harsh reality.   
  
But, as all beings with hearts do, Kanon eventually made a connection with someone.   
  
She remembered the way Jessica looked at him with nervous eyes and a red face.  
  
She remembered the way that it made her– no, Kanon’s heart flutter.  
  
She remembered that furniture could not fall in love.   
  
While Shannon was able to deny her position, Kanon could not.   
  
Every time Kanon and Jessica became closer, he would remind her that he is furniture.   
  
They played a strange version of cat and mouse. Jessica would chase after him, and he would reject her in spite of his own feelings. Jessica, who knew of his heart, would keep pushing.   
  
The game made her want to scream, and in the throes of their love– she realized how Jessica must have felt.   
  
Kanon was torturing her by pushing her away. She knew that he made Jessica cry, but Kanon couldn't say anything. Because his role was as her reminder.   
  
Even so, Sayo was always a contradiction. Even though Kanon had taken the role of her position as furniture, she loved Jessica. She wanted to see Jessica and Kanon smiling, just as George and Shannon did.   
  
But if Jessica knew that she was a pretender— the same as Shannon— She would surely hate her.   
  
So, the time has come for Kanon to disappear from this world.   
  
This form no longer holds his spirit.   
  
But if that's true...  
  
_Who am I?_  
  
Beatrice— the golden witch.   
  
Beatrice had existed for much longer than she had.   
  
Once, she was Kinzo’s lover. And again, she was his daughter.   
  
She was the Beatrice of the third generation— the one born from legends and scary stories. The one with the haunting portrait laid inside of the manor.   
  
Beatrice held power over Rokkenjima and those who inhabited it, even without having to make a physical appearance.   
  
It was everything that she had ever wanted. In a world where she couldn't even control her body... She could find complete control as Beatrice, who had the blood of the Golden family's head running through her veins.   
  
Power over Rokkenjima gave her more than she could have ever dreamed of as Shannon or Kanon.   
  
So, she gave Beatrice a task.   
  
There was one final person who she loved— and that person had completely forgotten about her.   
  
She gave Beatrice the task of making him remember.   
  
He would remember the time they spent together.  
  
He would remember the promise he had made, to take her off the island and let her live with him.   
  
And when he remembered, she would finally be satisfied.   
  
Through the riddles of the Rokkenjima Massacre.... Beatrice miraculously made him remember.   
  
The two looked at each other with remorse. He finally remembered, and he finally looked at her pitiable form.   
  
She loved being Beatrice, and Beatrice loved being her.   
  
But Beatrice completed her task, there's no reason to keep her anchored to this life anymore.   
  
So, the time has come for Beatrice to disappear from this world.   
  
This form no longer holds her spirit.   
  
But if that's true...  
  
_Who am I?_  
  
She remembered her true name, which she only gave out sparingly.   
  
Sayo Yasuda.   
  
The pathetic orphan who had spent her years being ridiculed until it seemed that the very walls of Rokkenjima were against her.   
  
The one with the body of furniture— the useless form that could never make any man happy.   
  
And, the culprit of the crimes that occurred on Rokkenjima island.   
  
She knew this, and accepted this without shedding a single tear.   
  
She lived a lonely and agonizing life, but it was all over.   
  
He remembered her, and she could finally have peace.   
  
But... He doesn't seem to want her to sink peacefully.   
  
After she jumped into the water, he quickly followed her.   
  
She wanted to laugh at his pathetic attempt to save her, the way he gasped for air as his hands stretched out to grab onto her.   
  
It was impossible. The gold ingot insured her fate. No miracle could occur that would save her.   
  
........ In a single, magical moment, his hand brushed hers.   
  
And then it faded away– his body couldn't take it, and he began to rise back up to the surface.   
  
She strained a smile. He would return to his sister– the person he should be trying to hold on to... Even though she was six years old, Sayo was ready to ruin her life.   
  
At least, she was able to return her big brother.   
  
As she descended further into the abyss, she thought of the final things she wanted to say to him.   
  
_Battler,  
  
When we were children, we traded novels back and forth. We discussed mysteries together and laughed together.   
  
You told me the kind of woman you liked, and I did my best to become that image. Did I do a good job? Ahahaha...._  
  
_.... Looking back, those were the happiest days of my life.  
  
I suppose it's only natural that I'd want them to continue.   
  
That's why we made that promise— that you would come pick me up on a white horse and we would live together happily. Those discussions that only happened once a year could become our daily routine.   
  
It was probably nothing to you, but that promise filled my dim life with hope.   
  
As the years passed and you didn't return, it felt like I was being tested by God. Then, it felt like a sign that I would never be happy.   
  
I was filled with sorrow, and I hated you for leaving me.   
  
In the end, I tortured you with that promise as well.   
  
I ask not for your forgiveness, but allow me to extend my arms in this final offering.   
  
From this day forward, I relinquish you from that promise.   
  
You no longer have to save me. You no longer have to love me. You no longer have to stay with me.   
  
You can live a happy life far away from my burdens.   
  
I will be happy here, resting in the sea of Rokkenjima.   
  
And every night, the seagulls will cry out and sing me to sleep... I'll no longer be lonely.   
  
Maybe we'll meet again in another life. _  
  
As she thought that, consciousness started to slip away from her. Finally, she was going to drift away into her eternal sleep.   
  
As her eyes pressed closed, she remembered the faces of every person she loved.   
  
George, Jessica, and.... Battler.   
  
She loved every single one of them.   
  
_The time has come for me to disappear from this world.  
  
This form no longer holds the spirit of Sayo Yasuda.   
  
You'll meet her again.... When something else cries. _


End file.
